What are you listening to?

Have you ever listened to the other person’s communication or were you communicating within your own mind?

It is incredible to believe but we hear what we want to listen, not what other person wants to communicate. If we have to label it, we can call this unconsciously selective hearing. It’s true in almost all the cases. A single statement will be perceived differently by each person listening to it. If only you reflect deeply or discuss openly with others, you will be surprised to know that each one understood it so very differently.

That’s because of parental and family conditioning, life experiences, society conditioning, exposure to life and unique understanding. So many lens of perception are handed over to you. Such as assumptions, untold rules which influence your receptivity and logical thinking process. Even your relation with the communicator and your perception of them influences what you actually hear.

Consider an example. In a meeting attended by many officials, each one would take away a different understanding. School children attending the same class same teacher, teaching the same subject, but each student would take away a different understanding. When you have a preconceived notion about the speaker, whatever he or she speaks, you hear only what confirms your perception of him or her.

You are actually listening to your mind. Whatever is communicated to you, is instantly and unconsciously getting processed (should we call this tampered?) in your mind. All the chilhood conditioning, lens of perception, assumptions, your experiences in life, everything comes into play while processing the information. You will only understand what your mind wants you to understand.

You are not receiving the communication exactly the way the communicator wants to communicate and understand what he wants you to understand. There is always a gap if you look at it keenly. Identify and understand your barriers to authentic listening. It may be clouding your interaction with others and even damaging the relationship. Once this comes into your awareness, you will be more open to authentic communication.

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